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How to Marry a Millionairess
From your Investing for Beginners Guide

For the guys out there looking to land a woman with a lot of cash to burn, this is what you're looking for!

Here's How:
  1. Learn to be clandestine. Women who have a lot of money are generally going to be more shrewd and intelligent than those who don't. They also are more apt to be educated - this means you need to pick up a book.
  2. Learn to enjoy shopping. It may be clichè, but a lot of women take pleasure in the greatest of all past-times.
  3. Take cooking classes. Big bonus. If you can make her favorite dish like no other, you'll soon be the one wielding her credit card with complete autonomy.
  4. Do crunches and look good without your shirt on. This may not catch every woman's eye, but you don't need every woman - you just need ONE rich one.
  5. Buy her gifts. Hopefully, she'll reciprocate.
  6. Don't mention money. Unless you're good looking enough to find a sugar mama who knows what game's a foot, you don't want to tip your hand.
  7. Play an instrument. Even if she doesn't find it sexy, you can amuse yourself while stuck at the many mindless social luncheons. President Clinton did it.
  8. Go for the old ones and make the will. After she kicks the bucket, you won't have to worry about repeating your seductions.
  9. Find a woman with a cute daughter. If you're sleezy enough to try to marry someone for their cash, then you probably are going to be screwing around anyway. This way, you won't have to go far.


  1. It would be so much easier just to go out, get a nice job and invest. This way, you at least won't have to do anything immoral to become wealthy.

More How To's from your Guide to Investing for Beginners

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