Love and Money

Part 2 - The importance of financially compatible relationships

This isn't a game; it's your life. There are no do-overs or try-agains. Elizabeth's argument was that she felt like a child. Although this is sometimes a very real problem, in cases such as hers, that excuse is bull. As soon as Elizabeth begins acting like an adult and handles the money responsibly, she should be entitled to equality in the couple's finances. Until then, absolutely not. For the men out there who are smirking - this includes you. If your wife is the one who is saving, investing, and being responsible, and you are irresponsibly spending money, you have no business making financial decisions. It is not your right as "man" of the house to be in charge of the money. That job should go to the most qualified. Be responsible and honest enough with yourself to recognize who that is even if it means ceding autonomy over the checkbook.

Love and Money: The Built-In Solution

If you still want to have a joint account, but you're worried about one partner being able to control or spend part of the investments, don't fear. Most brokerage houses offer a "double sign" feature on their accounts ensuring that money can’t be spent, withdrawn or moved without the written consent of both parties. This is a great feature that not only curtails potential conflicts, but will save money. After all, if you have to get your significant other to agree to every purchase, you will probably end spending less, which is good for everyone involved!

Battle of the Love and Money Strategies

Another thing to watch out for is fights arising from different investment styles. If your wife or husband is a value investor and you are more interested in high-flying, high-risk stocks, no matter how responsible you each are, it would be wiser to have separate accounts. Otherwise, one or both of you is going to end up frustrated and angry.

The Answers

1. If you and your partner have similar views on money, investing, and saving, open joint accounts.
2. If one or both of you is a shopaholic, opt for the double sign feature on your brokerage and checking accounts.
3. If you have different strategies, get separate accounts! Why create a source of conflict?
4. Have common goals in your relationship. These should not be limited to finances.
5. Keep only one credit card between the two of you for emergencies or to build up credit.
6. Keep track of your finances (both joint and individual) in a good software package like Microsoft Money or Quicken.